


Illuminating Peace

by hopeforrain



Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Get Together, M/M, Pre-Canon, References to Underage Drinking, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeforrain/pseuds/hopeforrain
Summary: After a party (that I didn't write), Jason and Peter face a shift in their relationship.
Relationships: Jason McConnell/Peter Simmonds
Kudos: 24





	Illuminating Peace

When Peter woke up, Jason was already getting dressed as if nothing unusual had happened the night before. Peter could still feel Jason’s mouth on his, his hands clutching his back, and Jason was just putting on his tie for Mass as if life was exactly the same. Peter laid in bed staring for a moment, before calling to his roommate, “Jason?”

Jason turned, again looking as if nothing in the world was different. “What’s up?”

Now Peter was a little upset. “What’s up? What do you mean, what’s up? Are we not going to talk about this at all?”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t want to mess anything up here.” Now Jason was avoiding eye contact. “You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to hurt you or make anything weird. So I think it’s best we just forget about it and move on.”

All the ‘I don’t want to hurt you’s in the world couldn’t have taken out the sting in those words, but Peter figured that’s what he got for making out with his best friend when they were both incredibly drunk. He slowly got out of bed and started getting dressed for Mass.

Late that night, he found himself still struggling to let it go. He and Jason were sitting at their desks, wrapping up the last bit of homework for Monday. Frustrated with his lack of focus, Peter closed his history book and turned around to look at Jason. “So, did it just not mean anything to you? I mean, it’s not like I think you should want to make out with me or anything, but it kind of hurts if you were just using me because I was there and we were drunk. You kissed me, and if it’s just ‘cause we were drunk, I’d really appreciate it if you’d find someone else next time.”

Jason was silent for a painfully long time, and Peter was about to ask if he’d heard him, when Jason said softly, “It wasn’t just because we were drunk.”

Peter’s eyes went wide, voice stolen in shock.

Jason continued. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first moment we made eye contact. The alcohol just made me less scared of it. But it doesn’t need to be a big deal, and if that makes you uncomfortable or something, I totally get it. I just feel like you should know I wasn’t using you. You mean so much, Peter.” He turned to look at Peter, who stood and walked towards him.

“Get up,” Peter said.

Jason looked a little afraid. “Why?”

“Because I can’t do this properly when you’re sitting in a chair.” Peter grabbed Jason by the shoulders and pulled him into a standing position. Their eyes met for a moment, Peter’s hands behind Jason’s neck, Jason’s settling on Peter’s hips.

They weren’t quite sure who moved in first, but when their lips connected, Peter inhaled sharply, body pressing into Jason’s. The sensations were fuzzily familiar, but brightened and focused, as if the only thing that existed was where his body was touching Jason’s. Jason had one arm wrapped tightly around Peter’s waist, the other hand stroking his jaw gently. Peter thought that he might die there, and if he did, it wouldn’t be the worst thing. At least he could go to hell with this beautiful memory of his body and soul feeling perfectly connected to someone else.

Eventually, Jason pulled back, leaning his forehead against Peter’s. Peter was panting, heart racing faster than he thought it should be able to. He pulled Jason’s hand from his face and pressed it against his chest, showing what Jason had done to his heart rate.

Jason smiled a bit. “We need to get you doing some cardio, because I think you’re out of shape.”

“Shut up,” Peter murmured. He shoved at Jason’s shoulder, but made no attempts to move away. “You nearly give me a heart attack kissing me, and then you come after me for being out of shape?”

“I’m just saying, you wouldn’t be like that if you’d ever played a sport in your life.”

“You really need to stop talking.” And Peter pulled Jason back into an earnest kiss.

They laid down in their own beds that night, but Peter couldn’t sleep. Every time he tried to slow his mind down, it was flooded with every word he didn’t want to hear -  _ abomination, unnatural, perversion, damned _ \- the list went on. He tossed and turned until he couldn’t stand it anymore, and he whispered across the room, “Jason?”

Jason mumbled and rolled over, clearly mostly asleep. Peter called his name again, and he pulled his pillow over his head.

“Jason, wake up. I need to talk to you.”

Jason let out one final groan. “I was asleep. Why can’t it wait until morning?”

“How were you asleep?”

“It’s the middle of the night, Peter. That’s what you do in the middle of the night.”

“No, I mean… Are you not freaking out?”

“About us?”

“Yeah. I’m just worried. About, you know…”

Jason sighed and got out of bed. “Scoot over,” he said before sliding into bed next to Peter. “I’m not freaking out. I feel at peace for the first time in years. Kissing you, I felt more right than I’ve felt as long as I can remember. I felt alive. So no, I’m not freaking out. I think this might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know there are reasons to be scared, but I can’t seem to care about them when I’m holding you.”

Peter curled into Jason’s side, laying his head on Jason’s chest. “I don’t want to scare you off. I just can’t stop thinking about every bad thing I’ve ever heard or read about being gay.”

Jason’s hand was in Peter’s hair now, softly scratching his scalp. “You are none of those things. You are kind, and gentle, and beautiful, and more Catholic than at least half of the school, myself included. So if you think you’re going to hell for this, you can pray about it or something, but I think you’ll be fine.”

“Thank you,” Peter whispered.

“Now try to get some sleep. School in the morning and all that.” Jason drifted off fairly soon after that, but Peter found himself awake much longer. All night, he alternated between asking God for answers and trying to clear his mind so that God could speak said answers to him. When Jason woke up in the morning, Peter hadn’t gotten any clear answers, but he greeted his best friend with a gentle kiss.

“Where’s freaking out Peter from last night?” Jason asked, voice a little raspy with sleep.

“He spent all night praying.”

“And?”

“And I didn’t get anything definite. But now that I know what kissing you and sleeping next to you is like, I don’t think I’ll give that up for anything less than literal writing on the wall. So for now, if we’re damned, let us be damned.”


End file.
